I'm pretty sure that the Beatles weren't writing about dysautonomia when they wrote this song but some of the lyrics resonate with me and the mood and meloncholy of the song capture for me what it is like to have POTS. If I had to pick a theme song for POTS, this might be it.
The road I've traveled for the past 18 months has been about as winding as one can get. Some days are horrifically bad where I feel like I'm trapped at the bottom of a vortex in terms of vertigo and fatigue and can do almost nothing but lay there in dizziness with no strength to get up. Some days, I am able to do some normal things. I can be really bad one day and OK the next or vice versa.
Many times I've been alone and many times I've cried
Anyway you'll never know the many ways I've tried
A couple weeks ago, much to my surprise, I broke down in tears when my dad stopped over. I try to do my crying when I'm alone but it had been a rough and frustrating day and I just lost it when I saw him. I felt terrible. Did I mention that my dad is 79 years old? I should be taking care of him now and yet there he was taking care of me. Although I felt like a heel, in some ways, I think it made us both feel better. I learned that it is OK to show when things are bad and I think my dad was glad that I needed him a little.
The wild and windy night that the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears crying for the day
Why leave me standing here, let me know the way
I hope some day that someone somewhere develops a cure for dysautonomia. Until then, no matter how twisty your road is, remember that you are not alone and that tomorrow is always another day.
